Signing Off

I don't think I'll be updating this blog anymore. Not for a while anyways. I mostly just do it to keep people in my life informed and I feel that should be done through more personal means. So, it's over and out for this blogger.

Text me, call me, mail me a letter, shoot me an email. We can still be in touch. I want to know about your life too.

REM Cycle

So here's the thing.
I'm forgetting how to sleep.

I go to bed at night only to wait around for 4 hours while I try to get to sleep. Tonight (It is now 7 in the morning) I accidentally took a nap from 10-12 midnight and haven't slept a wink since. I have listened to some interesting talk radio, bought some Christmas presents online, watched some tv and thought about some projects that I'd like to get started on. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. After I make it through today, I can set my sleep schedule back to regular. And that'll be just in time for Christmas vacation. Perfect.

Who's excited to see their family for Christmas? I know I am.

Jars

It's photo time!! The new camera is in action. Here is what we have

Jars, on jars, on jars. We've got 2 kinds of Kimchi, sauerkraut, persimmon butter and bulbs!!

This is a close up and maybe my best picture so far.  

Here are two little guys I've got growing. Someday, they'll flower 

A postcard that I sent to a friend in China (fingers crossed that it makes it) 

postcard that I sent to a friend in New Orleans

Besides hiding from the cold in my sleeping bag and working, this is mostly what I've been up too. Also, writing down a story to possibly tell at a storytelling night this Thursday (if I can get over my brutally handicapping stage fright). Getting some inside plants started, harvesting the last of my tomatoes, and cooking awesome meals. Check out this one that I made here. 

Winter is coming. And, we'll have some delicious stuff to show for it. Next Sunday's crafternoon gathering will lead to grain alcohol infusions. I'm thinking basil vodka for bloody marys. It's gift making season!

Bits and pieces

I have so many different projects underway. You guys best be glad that I don't have any way to capture the complete wreck that is my room right now.

I'm making little ambient light arrangements for my room. I'm getting rid of my couch and my desk, stripping a section of my room of two layers of wallpaper and one layer of paint in order to repaint it.

I just procured a loft for free and am now on the rampage fixing my room up. Ordered some sweet shelves for my future, and, am going to repaint my dresser. to match my shiny new wall. Besides that I'm trying to outfit a corner of my bed to be a little couch for reading while sitting up. That's important stuff. Nothing is done. Most of this is still a dream. But it's a dream that can be realized. I have three days a week off from work.

Wallpaper striping formula, primer, white paint, an electric sander, a tiny bit of colorful paint 3 colors, a little bit of wood to build supports on the loft/couch and a drill. That's what I need. I might pull up my carpet after this too. I just pulled up a bit to find that there is hardwood floor underneath of this ugly stuff. Why would you do that to a space?!

Besides that I'm working on some Christmas projects, postcards, and some ongoing yard work. My biggest problem is that I forget to eat when I get all caught up in these things. I've been living off of brussel sprouts and corn tortillas for two days for lack of faster and better things to eat once I realize that I'm starving. It'll all balance out eventually. Plus, brussel sprouts are the best. But seriously, who wants to come over and feed me?

The gift of gratitude

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. 
Denis Waitley 

If gratitude is a gift, then ya'll are about to get a whole bunch of presents from me. Because in the spirit of the season, but also as a gesture that should be made more often, here is a abbreviated list of things for which I am thankful. 

I give thanks for the new community that I have in Portland, from my friends that now live in the neighborhood, to those that live all the way out in Kenton. I am grateful to have come in contact with all the lovelies that I have and to have the support of my friends as I embark on a variety of emotional journeys.

I am almost everyday thankful that my stomach is not as weak and pained as it used to be. By all accounts I have a finicky stomach but if you all just knew how much worse it could be. (Shout out to those of you who do). 

I am eternally grateful to have been blessed with a family that is a: still around. b: very supportive. c: very handsome (I's got to get these genetics from somewhere baby dolls). But even more this time around, I am thankful for the way that my family and I got to grow closer over the past year and to be there for my grandmother as she was sick. I am thankful to see my immediate family this upcoming holiday season, I can't wait. 

With appreciation, I view the relationships that haven't made it because in the long run they will help me fine tune what I want and need and are great growing experiences. 

I appreciate, the fine food of the town in which I live.

Same for the shovel that helps me conquer blackberry bushes, plant veggies and bulbs. 

I really appreciate my roomies, who are a generally well meaning and kind block of people living far too close together. 

I appreciate the friends that aren't close by. It is a wonderful thing to have community all around the country but my how I do miss them. 

I am truly grateful for the people that I work with because work is only bearable when you do it with good people and am so happy to have a job that not only pays the bills but settles me down on the most anxious days and lets me be creative. 

If I have not mentioned some things that I should clearly be thankful for, don't you worry kiddos, this is an abbreviated list right?  a good thanksgiving. Eat your heart out. 

Pictures

Look forward to the future photographs. I just got an old camera from a friend and while right now it is totally dead, once we get a new power cord for that baby, you guys will be seeing what I see. I know, exciting. It might lead me on even better picture taking adventures. Look ahead lovelies.

where one follows the other

Lists are the bomb.com. You know that. You can get so much done in a day, even if you wake up late, if only there is a tidy little list waiting for you to cross it's items out.

I'm back to running and while it is basically pathetic in comparison to what my body was capable of a month and a half ago, it's better than nothing. Everything is a give and take.

Also, my garden is going to be spectacular next year. I have planted a bunch of bulbs, have a little section planned out for the tubers I'll be getting in the spring, and will still have a steady crop of veggies I think. I'm even learning about spacing and whatnot. You're only a novice once. People don't understand the growers excitement but growing things is like witnessing magic all the time. Were does all that plant come from? It can't be that tiny little seed.

This is where my garden is right now. Still harvesting tomatoes off of my cherry tomato plant, got some inside basil working away. The bush snap peas are getting bigger but not a whole lot to harvest yet, two measly spinach plants have decided to grow. Slugs are eating everything. The carrots are taking off, I have at least one daikon radish ready to pick and a couple little red radishes showing their heads, the broccoli is still tiny (thanks slugs) but I have volunteer red lettuce, one kale plant that is hardy as all get out, and a whole bunch of chinese cabbage that I don't even know what to do with.

Next year: I will have radishes, bush peas, kale, spinach and lavender at the very least (I guess thyme and rosemary too) But, I also plan on having another tomato plant, a winter squash plant, a zucchini plant and perhaps an eggplant. Get excited and plan on staying with me come august. Because, there will be too much food for my household (it is best to remain ever hopeful).

Without you it's just not the same

I miss my grandma, Mamaw. As my birthday approaches I know that this is going to be the first one for which I won't receive a birthday card from her. She has been such a positive and caring force all of my life and I am missing it for sure as my first big life event without her approaches.

up not down

I've just been through a break up. But, while I am crazy about this fellow, I'm not going down. I deserve someone who is not only great but also crazy about me. I'm not big on romantic love, but basically, I need someone who is capable of falling in love with me too.

When we go through something hard it really does make us stronger. I can feel my emotional muscles now, bulking up, getting ripped. I don't really believe in holding back. It may be naive, but how else do you get the most out of your time with someone? You need to go into relationships without walls up, ready to become attached, giving what you've got. This, unfortunately is also how you get yourself hurt when it doesn't work out. There are pros and cons to this method. Still, I think it's the only way for me. Caution is a silly thing that stops you from fully experiencing the best things in life*

Luckily, my birthday is coming up too. So, there is something really positive on the horizon. Can't wait, can't wait! Get excited people. And wish me a speedy recovery from heartbreak.


* Caution has also been known to save lives from time to time. Do proceed with it in the case of high risk activities i.e. cage fighting. 

Substitutions

I'm taking two of my lady friends to the marathon that I had planned on running earlier this month tomorrow. That means a 6am wake up time. Good golly miss Molly! That's early. But, I'm happy to do it. I'm glad that someone will be getting to run that marathon and to get out of town as well. It will be really nice to switch things up. I've been really aching to get out of town.

The east coast had me spoiled with the abundance of different cities all within a couple hours drive of bus ride from the next one. Now, when I want to get out of town, I don't know what to do or more aptly, where to go.

I'd hop down to San Fran if it wasn't flying distance away and Seattle is close, so that's always an option. I am partial to chocolate factories so it might be the very best option. Too bad I'm such a city slicker. I need to live near more of them to be comfortable.

What's your favorite living situation? Big city, small town, open country, backwoods of a national forest?

Physical hardships

My body is having a rough week. My foot is still aching from the marathon producing a limp in any journey ranging over 70 yards or so. I burn myself with sugar not once but two times throughout the workweek (sweet, sweet pain) and then again while cooking at home yesterday. While hanging out with Alex the other day I got a splinter, through my sock and into my foot. Are you for real?! And yesterday, I bought a hole punch which not only broke on it's first use but also pinched a little bit of my hand in the act of breaking, adding insult to injury.

It looks like I won't be running another race in a couple of weeks which sucks! My muscles feel great. I want to run. I just want my foot to feel better so I can run. I'm going for a sports injury massage tomorrow. Please let it help. Working six days a week this week unless someone gets excited about picking up for me. That would be great. I don't think that standing for 6 hours at a time is doing my foot any favors although it does my mind some favors because the opposite is feeling lazy sitting around all day which is THE PITS.

How do you cope with injury. I've never been physically incapable of running. I don't know what to do. At least I can still bike but the rains have come so that is not nearly so fun anymore. Time to suck it up and get that pool pass.

going thousand miles an hour

To quote a MIA song which is in turn referencing a Jonathan Richmond song, I'm a road runner. 

So, the next three weeks with minimal runs and then a much less metropolitan Marathon than I am used to will be an interesting combination of unusual exercises. Still it will be fun and having this, well run, marathon under my belt feels good. 

I began to think around mile 22 that we are meant to do endurance exercise. Humans are amazing creatures who, I think, benefit from pushing themselves physically as well as mentally. 

I'm on the lookout for new exercise programs. Yoga, biking and swimming are high on my radar. Because, who knows what is next, perhaps a triathlon? 

What are you getting into? How are you planning on staying fit as the leaves change color and the weather grows chilly? 

Portland road running

Marathon tomorrow.
I am super excited to eat donuts after this son of a gun is over. I bought new shoes but am wearing my old.
Wish me luck or at least a speedy enough recovery that I can run the Columbia Gorge Marathon in 3 weeks too.

Best of the best to ya,
Rachel

Squirreling

Chestnuts, I hear you can roast those bad boys over an open fire.

Turns out, a lot of chestnut trees spring up this time of year around Portland, dropping their meaty little packages all over the roads and sidewalks. It is a gleaner's paradise. Gathering them, has become a near daily activity for me as it is hard to pass up any free resource that will otherwise go to waste (or equally as bad. go to squirrels).

Me hopping off the bike and stuffing my little stretch pockets full of chestnuts almost seems natural until a passerby has to delicately swerve around my nut focused presence on the sidewalk. Then, I remember, it looks kinda weird to be picking food up off of the street. Oh well, winter is nigh and someone wants to be prepared for a open fire.

Time

It's about time. It's all about time. It's time to catch you sweethearts up on my life in which I feel like there isn't time for much.

To be fair, I spent all day today reading and cleaning (with a break for some farm veggie pickup and birthday cupcake ingredient gathering). There really is time but I have been spending a lot of it with a specific someone and that means less time at home cooking meals for me, keeping up with the New Yorker, or finding pants to wear in the winter.

Yesterday I did devote a span of the good stuff (a couple hours) to looking for those pants to no avail. Why is it so hard for someone with solidly muscular legs that also happen to be as short as a 12 year old's to find pants that fit? Wait, did I just answer my own question? Going shopping for pants actually makes me feel insecure about my body. I am beautiful. It is ridiculous. But, how many pairs of pants can you try on before you start to wonder why it is that your body deviates from the standard of beauty so much that you can't squeeze even a small section of the aforementioned pant over your calf?  Or you wonder why your butt crack has to hang out? Answer: because your thighs are too big to keep the appropriately fitting waist from getting quite to where it is going. Finding pants might be worse than finding a bathing suit. I'm thinking of buying quite a few pairs of merino wool tights and just calling it a tie. But, I'm not sure that I will be warm enough all winter in skirts and very thick tights. I tend to wear pants and tights with great regularity in my own home throughout the nippy season. Oh, the joys of the encroaching cold season. And the rain. Let's not get started on the rain.

Besides being basically bummed about winter wear, I have been thinking about my grandma a lot which also makes me bummed in a much more serious mournful type of way. I fear that I have really not been that much fun to hang around for the past couple of weeks. Plus, being sad makes me homesick so I miss the family and the friends of the east coast especially much.

When, I work my way back to normalcy, I have lots to do. Food to cook before it goes bad, triathlon participants to cheer on, gardens to maintain, books to read. As a bit of a coincidence I am reading "Mountains Beyond Mountains" which my lovely older brother is also reading. One of my marathon training buddies is turning the big 30 this year. Coming into another decade isn't something you get to do often and I'd like it to be a special time, so there is that in my life as well.

I'm into the tapering bit of my marathon training. Tapering always makes me feel week even though I know it is for the best. I also miss all those endorphins that go along with my long and medium runs. That probably hasn't been helping out with the general malaise that I have been feeling. Still, I'm excited (and yes, incredibly nervous) for race day. Is it stupid to do two races within 3 weeks of one another? I am beginning to think it is. But, I'm signed up, it's too late. What to do about that?

Well now, I'm off to eat tomato pie and contemplate how life can be so wonderful as to have things such as tomato pie. Wish me luck on living with joy. Until next time.

Running

Allright, I'm addicted. The Portland marathon is in 3 weeks and 2 days and I have already signed up for the Columbia Gorge Marathon which takes place merely 2 weeks and 6 days after that. I couldn't resist. It looked so beautiful. Plus, I'll be in shape already, right?

After this, I might need to take some kind of break from running... I guess. Maybe, find me a good yoga studio again or take up swimming (as if). Maybe we'll try for the 100 mile bike ride on the fixie. One can only dream at this point.

All the best kiddos. Try to keep in shape.

MIA

So, I've basically been missing in action for the past few weeks. The thing is, that both my phone and my computer went down at the same time. At said time, I entered into a technological void.

In truth, It wasn't that I had no access to the world of technology (I had a borrowable, roomie computer and many people with phones around) but none of that was mine. Soon, I returned to the land of cellular phones but it was not such a quick process to find the right computer. After much deliberation, I have my "new" macbook pro off of the apple refurbished web site. I can only describe it as buttery. Everything is so fluid and beautiful, it makes me wonder how I made it through the two past years without a mac. This, simple and intuitive, design is what I am made to use. I think I'm in love.

So, what has happened in the past couple of weeks? So much... My sister, and most ardent reader, Katelyn, visited and then skipped town. We went to the highest point in Portland, to the famous international rose testing garden (where they breed new types of roses and keep roses from all over the world), to the gorge for a beautiful hike, on many a run and bike ride. We put fall crops in the ground for the garden and we made sun dried tomatoes and harvested a boat load of grapes and asian pears from my back yard. Also, we went on my personal favorite September activity, swift watching.

Now, if you have been reading this blog for some time, then you have already heard of swift watching but if you haven't you can read about it here. Make sure to check out that picture. It is beautiful. Since, I went with Katelyn, I have gone one more time with Alex- the gentleman that I am dating- as well as some friends and coworkers and I plan on going again on Friday. This year, I will get the most out of swift watching.

Outside of that, I have been getting sweet mail from friends and loved ones. Alex went away for a week and sent me three pieces of rad snail mail. Natalie, who lived in house for the month of August, sent a beautiful handmade card, and Rachael sent a sweet postcard from NH. All in all, it's been a good mail week (not to mention I got a computer in the mail).

Work has me by it's talons for the next couple of weeks. Today will be my 9th day at work and I have 5 more days to go before my break on Tuesday but believe you me, Tuesday will be a sweet lazy day.

Running is getting more intense as we prepare for the longest of our pre marathon runs on Saturday. It will be a 20 miler. But, right after that we go into tapering and I am, as of yet, undecided about what will follow the marathon. Maybe a half in December? Maybe for the winter, I will transfer to an indoor exercise program. Back to yoga perhaps... There is plenty of promise about, as the air grows crisp and fall approaches. Anything goes.

Sorry for the helter skelter fashion of this post. I avow to update more concisely and frequently in the near future.

All the best sweet ones.

Respect

Oftentimes it is hard to get the respect that you deserve.

Is it because others aren't ready to give as much as you need? It's hard to give that much respect, I'll admit it.  I need a whole lot.

I think the problem, for me, lies in the fact that I am generally happy. People don't take you seriously when you've got a smile on your face. How do you change that? Are you just a surprise to people your whole life? Do you have to sneak up on them with your strength, smarts, your secret serious nature and your ability to really get things done?

I guess, for me, it is better to be undersold than oversold. I can always prove myself. It would be hard to constantly falling short of people's expectations.

Do people make assumptions about you because of your demeanor? Is what they see usually what they get with you? Let me know.

Eternal Spring

Summer here is actually eternal spring. Zucchini's are just starting to go crazy, the temperature never gets very high, and flowers are just overflowing your conceptual boundaries of how beautiful flowers should be all of the time. 

I am constantly overwhelmed by the beauty of it all and the promise as well. On my runs I pick figs for snacks and we go outside our front door to snag a sweet bursting handful of blackberries when we need some extra sugar in our lives. 

 These are the zucch's that I picked off my plant this morning. Also I brought in a handful of tomatoes. Plus, my neighbor just moved and hooked me up with his stash of green tomatoes so I made a beautiful and delicious (if I do say so myself) green tomato pie. Things are so plentiful. Feeding ourselves at this house just got so affordable. 

Mamaw

Dear sweet Mamaw,

You are a woman, beautiful in faith and generous of character. Full of contradictions, like all of us, your good heart and loving soul were never hard to see.

While it is hard to come to terms with the grasp of death and the idea not doing things with you anymore - to plant (or weed) for, to cry and to laugh with, to cook for or to be cooked for, to eat with, to gossip about the family with, to walk with, send mail to or even to watch TV with, it is a relief to not have you suffer anymore.

I know that faith guided you along in both life and death and am thankful for that. I know that your love for us has made us better people. And God knows that we will miss you.

"Why cry for a soul set free?" I love you more than words can say.