Without you it's just not the same

I miss my grandma, Mamaw. As my birthday approaches I know that this is going to be the first one for which I won't receive a birthday card from her. She has been such a positive and caring force all of my life and I am missing it for sure as my first big life event without her approaches.

up not down

I've just been through a break up. But, while I am crazy about this fellow, I'm not going down. I deserve someone who is not only great but also crazy about me. I'm not big on romantic love, but basically, I need someone who is capable of falling in love with me too.

When we go through something hard it really does make us stronger. I can feel my emotional muscles now, bulking up, getting ripped. I don't really believe in holding back. It may be naive, but how else do you get the most out of your time with someone? You need to go into relationships without walls up, ready to become attached, giving what you've got. This, unfortunately is also how you get yourself hurt when it doesn't work out. There are pros and cons to this method. Still, I think it's the only way for me. Caution is a silly thing that stops you from fully experiencing the best things in life*

Luckily, my birthday is coming up too. So, there is something really positive on the horizon. Can't wait, can't wait! Get excited people. And wish me a speedy recovery from heartbreak.


* Caution has also been known to save lives from time to time. Do proceed with it in the case of high risk activities i.e. cage fighting. 

Excitement Galore!

This has been an very happening couple of days. 

We've been testing out (and failing) a new home care helper this week. That's someone who basically does what I do with my grandma - cooks, cleans, administers meds. We need someone pretty chill to hang out with Mamaw every day for a solid chunk of time. 

This weekend Mamaw and I started with a trip to the spa on Friday (I went grocery shopping she got a massage), continued with a visit from my Mom, Dad, and my little brother on Saturday, and got real wild with a big birthday celebration for her today (Sunday). 

Besides that, my older sister was visiting this week too. So, things were pretty crazy overall.

Coconut cake with 82 candles.  

 Me and my older sister 

 My cousin, Luke, with some sweet flowers

Mamaw and cousin Mika with a four leaf clover

Tomorrow, we try out a new homecare assistant and we rest. It's gonna be good. All the best.

Tag Team: back again.

I'm back in Richmond, VA and I am not mad about it. I love this place and the people who inhabit it. It was wonderful to get to see my mom on her birthday but, I really do think of VA as my home the most out of any place.

It's weird because I have three places that are not fully my home and no place that is. What a conundrum! I think it's one of the reasons I've got to stick it out where I've decided to invest my time. I've got to make one place my home. The idea that many of the people that I love will leave that place or will never be there at all (whichever place it is) scares me a lot though. A home is only so good as the people who live in it (be it a city or a structure).

Side note: If I've ever sent you a postcard: take a picture and send it to me. You probably don't have a postcard from me if you don't know my email address.

Best,
Rachel

Listing West

I have not been posting on the regular as of late. Sorry kids.

Things have been somewhat busy but even more than that somewhat uneventful.

Still, I was thinking the other day of all of the things I still want to do here on the east coast and some of the things I want to do in Oregon when I get back west.

Let's see. I'm really trying to go see my friend Andre's  show in Philly before I leave this side of the country and I'm also trying to hit up NYC if at all possible. I still have a few restaurants in Richmond to get my stomach into,  and I've only been to the beautiful Byrd Theater once since I've been here so I will try to get a date to a movie for sure. Maybe, I will be trying to go to Agecroft Hall as well. Dinosaur Land is on my list but it is way down there and I don't think it's going to happen in the next three weeks. But, really, who can say for sure.

I'm only here for three more short weeks (in Richmond, VA) that is. So, I am, for sure, trying to see all of my friends for a few more good times and am looking forward, in a really serious way, to the Monument Avenue 10k which is my favorite race ever. I'm super excited for my family to come visit with Mamaw and me. And am also eager to make the brief venture up north to see my mom for her birthday. I'd like to point out (for good daughter points) that I have not missed one of my mom's birthdays since moving across the country.

When I get back out west I have so many things to do in mind (besides finding a job). I want to redouble my volunteering efforts. I've got a month's pass of unlimited yoga that starts two days before I get back home to take advantage of. I'm trying to buy a jalopy and drive to the Oregon High Desert (ok the jalopy part isn't true but the desert part is). I'm going to go whale watching off of the Oregon coast with some friends and visit some hot springs too.

I am going to go see some shows. Namely those of Yours, And And And, Death Songs, and My Autumn's Done Come. I cannot wait to be back in town to see all of these guys in action. I really hope they have shows close to my return. Culture! Oh yeah, I'm also going to hit up some museums that I haven't hit up yet in Portland and check out the famous rose testing garden (double culture!!)

I can't wait to ride my bike, run, and do yoga on a regular basis. I'm excited to make vast quantities of food that I really, really like and eat Thai take out from down the street. I can't wait to see all of the people in Oregon that I love and have friend dinners. But, I will desperately miss my family and friends who are sticking to their guns here on the east coast. I will be sending mail. Don't you east coasters worry. You will hear from me. Hopefully  I will also making some sweet stuff in the near future. So, maybe you'll see some art posted.

All the best kiddos I've got to get the ball rolling on this stuff.

Birthday Dinner

I forgot to take pictures of the food!! I was so overwhelmed by the company. Sorry guys, you'll never get to see the delicious things that we consumed. However, I do have some pictures for you (not that you didn't already see them on Facebook). Shout out to my friend Jon who took these beautiful pictures.

Natalie, an awesome friend I've made in Portland

A bit of the party in reflection

Me and my friend Marika who I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before.

Birthday cake time.

The candles were in the shape of a heart

This week I also went to a GWAR show which was awesome. It was this crazy metal show played by dude's in costumes who acted out crazy little dramas where they destroyed monsters and such spraying "blood" into the audience. Everyone was covered in pinky-red when they left the show.

Also, San Francisco update: I'll be flying to the bay area on Sunday the 20th and coming back to Portland late on Thanksgiving evening. This is all possible due to a super cheap flight I got to take me there. And, it's awesome because I'll get to see both of my sisters since my days there overlap with both of their stays. I'm so excited.

Tiny trains!

After work this morning I stopped by the Model Engineer's Club model train open house. It was pretty cool, although surprisingly crowded. I guess that they did a pretty good job advertising. I got to see a few train crashes. I also caught a glimpse of two Thomas the Tank Engines in reserve!

A model Oregon train city.

One of the train cars

A collection of backup trains

Power lines

Light switch blending into the background

Yeah, I just posted yesterday but wanted to get you all the model train pictures as soon as possible. Having a potluck dinner for my roomie's birthday tonight so, that'll also be fun.