The gift of gratitude

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. 
Denis Waitley 

If gratitude is a gift, then ya'll are about to get a whole bunch of presents from me. Because in the spirit of the season, but also as a gesture that should be made more often, here is a abbreviated list of things for which I am thankful. 

I give thanks for the new community that I have in Portland, from my friends that now live in the neighborhood, to those that live all the way out in Kenton. I am grateful to have come in contact with all the lovelies that I have and to have the support of my friends as I embark on a variety of emotional journeys.

I am almost everyday thankful that my stomach is not as weak and pained as it used to be. By all accounts I have a finicky stomach but if you all just knew how much worse it could be. (Shout out to those of you who do). 

I am eternally grateful to have been blessed with a family that is a: still around. b: very supportive. c: very handsome (I's got to get these genetics from somewhere baby dolls). But even more this time around, I am thankful for the way that my family and I got to grow closer over the past year and to be there for my grandmother as she was sick. I am thankful to see my immediate family this upcoming holiday season, I can't wait. 

With appreciation, I view the relationships that haven't made it because in the long run they will help me fine tune what I want and need and are great growing experiences. 

I appreciate, the fine food of the town in which I live.

Same for the shovel that helps me conquer blackberry bushes, plant veggies and bulbs. 

I really appreciate my roomies, who are a generally well meaning and kind block of people living far too close together. 

I appreciate the friends that aren't close by. It is a wonderful thing to have community all around the country but my how I do miss them. 

I am truly grateful for the people that I work with because work is only bearable when you do it with good people and am so happy to have a job that not only pays the bills but settles me down on the most anxious days and lets me be creative. 

If I have not mentioned some things that I should clearly be thankful for, don't you worry kiddos, this is an abbreviated list right?  a good thanksgiving. Eat your heart out. 

Poetry

I read this excerpt from a poem on Tuesday on a bus ride around town. It seems especially fitting now.

From Walt Whitman's What Is the Grass


What do you think has become of the young and old
   men?
And what do you think has become of the women and
   children?

They are alive and well somewhere,
The smallest sprout shows there is really no death, and
   if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait at the end to arrest it,
And ceas'd the moment life appear'd.

All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses,
And to die is different from what any one supposed,
   and luckier.

Richmond: The final hours

I haven't updated you! You know nothing about what is going on in my life! How will you live yet another moment without finding out all the sweet deets?!

I know. Life is a constant challenge. I am tired but here I am plugging away at the ol' blog. Trying to make you people happy.

I miss Portland. There I said it. It's almost true. I am excited for the last day and a half of Richmond before Portland becomes a reality for me again but I miss my roomies, my friends, my plants, the boy I'm super excited about. I miss having a regular bowel movement and my regular running partners too.

Wanting everything is hard. I want 100+ degree weather and crazy humidity and I want the beautiful serene of 80 degree Portland and biking everywhere. I want my friends to all live in the same place and I never want to have to leave my family... BUT I want my space. Quiero hablar espanol but I don't want to have to learn. I am lazy in wanting and filled with desire. What to do, what to do? Enjoy what I've got and work towards obtaining these wants? Deny what I've got and all earthly pleasures? Expand my garden, go for runs, and be a regular, employed member of society (boring but probable).

Since I've been in town, I've spent time with the Grams (shout out Mamaw- I love you dearly), spent time with friends, cooked out, watched fireworks, went on 7 mile runs in near 100 degree weather, ate huge breakfasts, gossiped viciously (well not viciously but with great enthusiasm). Eaten frozen greek yogurt, slept fitfully and attended a wedding.

Still to go are walks along the riverside, a huge brunch as part of a lady date, eating out at a crappy restaurant in the airport with my friends who are flying in as I get ready to fly out. Getting more frozen greek yogurt in my belly, visiting with friends not yet visited with, getting a ride from a cousin I haven't had a chance to speak with and little morning time with my parents. This is an ideal world.

Adios Chiquitos.

Weekend War

I feel like our kind of weekend war, the family kind, has more than occasionally been against the yard. Well for and against in different ways. And since I really have no weekend and in fact have only one day off in the next week before I dive right back into my work week again, every morning is my weekend. And I wage my fight against the yard a lot.

In some ways our yard is out of control. We are without a working lawnmower and our grass is, almost, intentionally wild looking. Aphids consumed one of my dear tomato plants. But it is also a constant work in progress. today I released over a thousand ladybugs into the yard and garden to combat the aphid issue and I thinned my carrot plants

little tiny carrot plants

I like working nights. I am really productive throughout the day. I've never been about mornings anyways. Well, it's been a long time at least. I think the last time I was excited about waking up early I may have been 11 and there may have been cartoons involved. Also, it may have been Saturday. Shout out: Saturday morning cartoons

I hope you all are getting it done. With or without a weekend. 

Pacific North West

Tomorrow,

I'm going to Seattle. I'm leaving Portland at 12:30pm. I'm getting there around 3:30pm. And I'm leaving the next day at 2pm. I'm super excited. It's about time I got to explore the Pacific NW. Thankfully, the Bolt Bus finally came to the area and started giving cheap rides to Seattle.

On my list are 1) Theo Chocolate because when Katelyn was in Seattle she procured some chocolate from them for yours truly, and it was phenomenal. Shout out Katelyn for getting me awesome things from the places that you go.  2) Pike Place Market. 3) a ferry ride- preferably to Bainbridge Island because I used to live on Bainbridge St.

If you have any last minute suggestions let me know (I know, I know, it's a last minute post). AND! I'll try to take some pictures for you lovely readers.

Best,
Rachel

P.S. I may have canceled friend dinner but some of those dishes are still gonna happen and soon.

Trading Up

In the past week both of my parents, independent of one another, told me I looked like a bum. For real, the terms "bum" and "bummy" were used to describe the state of my apparel.

Since I am, in no way, a fan of shopping (except of the online variety for non clothing items), they have been hard pressed to get me looking more middle class some other way.

The compromise that we settled on was that while they were both out working and earning the money to buy their own new clothes, I  stay at home and look through my mom's overstuffed closets and find some things to replace the particularly unseemly contributors to my wardrobe.

I pulled this from an online dictionary so that you all could see the irony in this set up (and possibly the reason that I really am a bum).
bum ¹  (bm)

n.

1. A tramp; a vagrant.

2. A lazy or shiftless person, especially one who seeks to live solely by the support of others.

 Here are a few of the goods:

Burnt orange shirt longish sleeves 

Replaces grey shirt three quarter length sleeves with weird fasteners on them

 Black V-neck Tee with "paint" 

Replaces Grey V-neck that shows every drop of sweet my body releases

 Lace tank top

Replaces 50's diner waitress shirt with ink marks all over it.

 Burnt orange coat dress

Replaces burnt orange "potato bag" sweater dress

White fluffy skirt and Black tank

Replace too large grey tank and nothing

I'm happy with most of my selection and they're happy that I'm trading up to clothes that I can get a real job with. Oh, a real job. That's what I'm supposed to do with my life.

I'm looking forward to my return to Oregon, new stuff or not. Yoga (at multiple studios), Whale watching, Hot springs going, Desert visiting, and $2 beers, all await me. And now that going to Oregon no longer means going back to a place where I have no one I am pretty excited to see all of my friends and housemates (the two are not mutually exclusive).

Shout outs to Mom & Dad for always looking out for me. Shout out to Oregon, I'll see you soon. Shout out to Mamaw, I miss you already.

Small Wonder (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I feel as though I must have used the title before. I know, it's not original, but I'm trying to go to bed. Here's a quick run through of  Delaware since I've been here (2:50 this afternoon)

 Napkins in the Thai restaurant we went to for lunch

 My mom with the spoils from the Thai restaurant.

Fortune I got from the Thai restaurant's "Chinese" fortune cookies

 Castor plant seed pod

Pretty much I got in via the Greyhound bus to Philly (first trip by greyhound and honestly not as bad as you'd expect from all of the negative feedback I've heard over the years), rode to pick up my older sister at the airport with my parents, met up with my older brother and sister in law to eat dinner, and ended up at home where I grew up, to chill with the immediate family. It's nice to see most of them. Shout out to Katelyn who can't be with us right now.

Doctor, Doctor.

Let me tell you now, this post has nothing to do with doctors.

Tuesday of last week Mamaw had chemotherapy. Nurses took her blood work, gave her shots to boost her white and red blood cell count, fortified her with Magnesium, and hooked up the chemo to drip deep into her veins (with the intention of killing off all of those fast growing cancer cells-but with some adverse effects of killing all of her fast growing cells).

Thursday of that week we went in to get an infusion for her- Just fluids. Nurses tested her to see if she needed anything besides fluids, they made her comfortable with pillows and blankets and generally kept us informed on what was going on.

Monday of this week, we went in for an impromptu infusion (the weekend had been hard and bodily resources were low). The nurses hooked Mamaw up for Magnesium and fluids. There were no doctors in sight.

Today, Tuesday, We went for our scheduled infusion. The nurses communicated with other nurses, they gave my grandma fluids and they did us the courtesy of scheduling yet another infusion that we know we will need.

It turns out, in the world of cancer, doctors have a uselessly busy schedule and never actually do anything for their patients. I am thankful for the care of nurses. I am thankful for their knowledge on the subjects, their ability to share that knowledge and most of all their ability to do. I appreciate everyone who considers becoming a nurse, as well as all of the nurses out there.

Shout out to my older brother who is going to be a nurse. Also, a loud shout out to my aunt, Melissa, who helped Mamaw and I through a rough couple of days and a shout out to my dad for being around and able bodied when we needed someone who can lift.

Hopefully most of you are seeing far less nurses than I am these days but to those of you in my nearby (AKA Virginia) family, I know you're seeing just about as many and I am glad we are in this together.

3 from 70.

It is supposed to be 70 degrees on Thursday which is three days from now. That being said, I got snowed in town last night and didn't make it back until this morning. Shout out to Scott & Renee who don't know me well but still feed me (lasagna), gave me drink, (home brewed beer) and entertained me, (Apples to Apples and a movie plus good conversation) then let me crash at their house.

blue skies and snowy trees 

 Snow in tree nooks, Daniel in the background

Branches are down, but snow begins to melt. 

The white stuff did melt enough to let me get back to Mamaw's in time to cook breakfast: my first ever making of soft boiled eggs was a success. Hurray for short term snow. I hope somebody got a snow day though. 

Steady does it.

We're moving into a bit of a routine, Mamaw and I.

Eat yogurt first thing in the morning.
Drink Gatorade too.
Eat real breakfast -yesterday steak and eggs, today ham and cheese quiche.
Alongside breakfast, take pills.
Rest or reading time.
Lunch time with the drinking of more Gatorade*,
TV, nap, read, get out of the house: depending on energy levels (Yesterday we went to the Spa! a few days ago we went to the Audiologist)
Snack time & Gatorade
Get mail**, accept phone calls, maybe clean up a little
Dinner time. It isn't irregular for another member of the family to come over and make or help out with dinner.Last night my aunt, Sarah, came over and made meat loaf, the night before my uncle came over and grilled steaks. Tonight, another uncle, Scott, is coming over to hang out during or shortly after the dinner hour.
TV: Wheel of Fortune
TV: Jeopardy: I think we're getting better at the game.
Bed 

*Gatorade is consumed every time I can convince Mamaw to drink more of it.
** if you know her, send Mamaw mail. It makes her day so much better and I don't see a reason why any day has to go by where she doesn't get something good in the mail.

As you can see, much of our day consists of eating, drinking, sleeping, and sitting. It's an easy life, but one that pretty much guarantees that a few pounds will be gained whilst I'm here. Hopefully, running and kart-wheeling will keep those pounds at bay for a time. If not, my second hope is that my family doesn't give me too hard a time about said pounds (Hear that family?!?!).

I am always, happy to be a help, and am thankful to all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins for making it easy for me to help by giving me so much support and away time.

Shout outs this week to: Eddy for coming over and making us steaks; Sarah both for picking up much of her family and transplanting them to Mamaw's for dinner last night making it possible for me to go out and see my friends and for checking in regularly to see how things are going; Scott for coming over tonight so I can go to an impromptu baby shower; and my Cousin Aaron who is willing to come over tomorrow night if need be, so I can go to another friend's birthday party. You guys really make life easy on me and I appreciate it ever so much.

Mail

Sweet, sweet, snail mail. USPS why would you ever, even think about closing? Yesterday, I got these bad boys in the mail. If these aren't going to make me mad tips at work, I don't know what is...

Tiny Blackberry Earrings

So cute

Shout out Chrissy for thinking of me when you saw these. Firstly, I love them and secondly, another girl with a cool earring collection just started working with me and these will totally best her! Nehehehe. I win. Thanks to you.

Dad

So, I've been doing some things with my free time that remind me of things my dad did while I was growing up. Besides being in charge of the all the grocery shopping on a regular basis- welcome to the world of being a single adult-, today I put the lights on our "Christmas tree". Saturday I spent hours doing yard work. I raked the yard, and cut back briers for hours people. Despite the fact that our "Christmas tree" is really just a bush in our front yard and the briers that I cut back should have been cut back months ago, I still felt really on top of things like my dad always seemed to be when I was growing up.

I mean, even now, I am constantly surprised at how much my dad knows about dealing with tricky things like doctors offices and insurance companies. Shout out to you Dad for being awesome. I love and appreciate you.

Birthday Dinner

I forgot to take pictures of the food!! I was so overwhelmed by the company. Sorry guys, you'll never get to see the delicious things that we consumed. However, I do have some pictures for you (not that you didn't already see them on Facebook). Shout out to my friend Jon who took these beautiful pictures.

Natalie, an awesome friend I've made in Portland

A bit of the party in reflection

Me and my friend Marika who I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before.

Birthday cake time.

The candles were in the shape of a heart

This week I also went to a GWAR show which was awesome. It was this crazy metal show played by dude's in costumes who acted out crazy little dramas where they destroyed monsters and such spraying "blood" into the audience. Everyone was covered in pinky-red when they left the show.

Also, San Francisco update: I'll be flying to the bay area on Sunday the 20th and coming back to Portland late on Thanksgiving evening. This is all possible due to a super cheap flight I got to take me there. And, it's awesome because I'll get to see both of my sisters since my days there overlap with both of their stays. I'm so excited.

The give and take of it

So Halloween has come and gone. I ended up not getting a picture of my exact full blown costume but I did get one picture (thanks to my friend Marika) which shows you a good approximation of what I did end up looking like.

Cruella-Lite. I'm not wearing my real dress or using my long cigar

but this is pretty much it.

Since Halloween it seems like a whole lot has happened. I guess it has been almost a week since my last post.

Firstly, despite my lack of Halloween candy eating, I did go to the dentist only to find that I have approximately 1,000 cavities. I was flabbergasted to say the least. Up until this point I've had perfectly good teeth with not a one cavity. It's kind of a bummer since I hate to end a positive streak and really it's only been this year that I've really come to be responsible about taking care of my teeth by both brushing and flossing on a super regular basis. So, it seems like the worst year for my teeth to fail me. Oh well, what are you going to do? I'm going to drill 'em out and fill 'em in, is what I'm going to do. I've already gotten some of them filled and I go in again on November 8th (the day after my birthday :( whomp, whomp).

Secondly, I met a boy on Halloween, well I've met him before but I really talked to him on Halloween while I was out at a show. He invited me to this lecture series that he had organized.

It was about food issues, especially in relation to where we live in Portland and it was really interesting. He also inspired me with his go-getter nature to look into more things that I can do in my community and now I'm going to volunteer with a tree planting group called Friends of Trees

If I like the organization I may look into being a community or team leader of sorts for a following planting season. Go get it, I guess.

I don't want to keep starting my paragraphs with numerical placements, so on top of all that, I have been planning my birthday party. This is something about which I am very excited. I am almost too jazzed up to sleep at night because of all of the planning and and anticipation. I'll just give you a quick menu peek here.

A) pigs in a blanket

B)home made tomato soup and Italian seasoned bread

C) Butternut squash Mac n' Cheese

D) roasted carrots

E) Something green

F) Honey Cake and cinnamon-coconut ice cream.

Don't worry, I'll take some pictures for you all to salivate at.

Also, I invited a cute boy to my birthday dinner. He works at the Restore and I just met him yesterday but he left me his number when he left the restore in the afternoon and we had a long text conversation immediately after. So, I think he's pretty interested in me. We'll see how he fields my friends at my birthday.

Not the least important but maybe the furthest in advance, I am working on a trip to San Francisco in two weeks. It wouldn't be a very long trip (I'd probably get to San Francisco on a Sunday evening and leave on a Thursday at some point). But, I've been meaning to visit a friend down there for a year and now that Katelyn is down there I just can't resist the trip! Travels Hurrah!

Wish me the best of luck on everything coming together appropriately from dental work to travel plans. I hope you all are staying healthier in the mouth than I, and are having just as much fun this week. All the best to you all. Thanks for reading.

A little walk in the sun

Sickity sick is how I would describe my last 5 days. I've been real, real, ill.

However, three and a half days of antibiotics and my energy is back. My, lymph node is no longer incredibly large and covered in some scary looking grey-brown film. I can swallow food without incredible amounts of pain, and water with none. I can walk around my neighborhood and run into my fellow neighborhood mates (some of which are pretty cute). Which is exactly what I just did.

I don't have Strep or Mono and truth be told, no one knows what I have. But, I am on the mend and that's really all that I care about right now. Hurray for modern science! Hurray for healing! Things are on the up and up.

I'd like to make a quick shout out to my dad who was in contact with me from the beginning (convincing me to go to the doctor), Mamaw for checking in with me, my friend Natalie who came and kept me company while I was sick and to my roommates who did much the same. But, out of them, a special thanks to Travis who came and checked in on me when I couldn't leave my room. Also, shout outs to everyone who offered to bring me soup. I truly appreciate having this community of people that care here. It means so much to me.

Things, Things, Things: We live in a material world

Well, since I've returned to Portland I've pretty much worn at least one thing a day that I brought back from the east coast. Here are a few of the treasures that I picked up back home

Earrings that I stole from Mom. They were broken so I replaced that top bit. That's why they're mismatched.

A blouse that I bought at Rumors, a Richmond Boutique.

Another pair of stolen earrings

A book that my friend made. It honestly didn't photograph very well but is awesome.

Tonight, I have a date with a boy that I met at the restore. Well, nothing is set in stone, but I think there will be a date tonight and I'm planning on rocking some of my east coast fashions.

Shout outs to Mom for hooking me up with all those sweet earrings, to Rumors for being such a positive and steady Richmond force over the past few years, to Terrance Edwards who designs sweet products which you can find at here, and to the Habitat for Humanity Restore for bringing people together.

All day fun

All day bus pass inside the book I'm reading now

(a collection of short novels by John Steinbeck)

Today, I woke up late to see posted on the house's white board 3 all day bus passes. So, I decided to go on an adventure to St. John's a little town on the north side of Portland. Now, a few hours later and just a little bit car sick I am here to tell you about it.

Pizza

Old School place I had pizza at.

Little Bike carriage that I saw when I got off the bus

signs like these always make me miss people or places

Shout out Katelyn (whose birthday was yesterday)

Trimmed up

Our yard just got its version of a haircut and I can tell it feels kind of naked. The way that you feel naked after you cut off all of your long hair and you go to wash it when you shower and it's all gone. This is how my yard feels. It feels like all of its beautiful hair is gone. And when I say beautiful hair, I mean blackberries.

The landlord came over today and "cleaned up" our yard which, to me, means that he cut down all of the beautiful and productive rose and blackberry bushes. Our yard looks stunted and a little bit pathetic. But, it'll grow into itself. I'm just going to miss having those blackberries to great me every day when I get home from work. I'm going to miss them a lot.

It's ok. The good news is: I got off of work early today. Also, I bought my ticket back to the east coast. The running joke right now is I'm just going to move back since I have yet to purchase my flight back to the West Coast. Don't get yourself too excited. I'm not actually moving back east. I'm trying to establish some in state residency for myself here so when I figure out what's good I can go to school for it. But, I am looking forward to seeing you lovelies and to eating at some delicious Richmond restaurants (shout out Black Sheep and Kuba Kuba with maybe a little love to Strawberry Street Cafe and some 8 and a half pizza).

I hope you all are having a lovely weekend.

Rising with the sun

6:30am is the time I've been getting up for work the past couple of days.

Needless to say, I've been tired and grumpy. Waking in the early AM is not really my cup of tea (although speaking of tea I've been drinking it to survive the mornings). Thankfully this early wake up time is because I've served the past 4 shifts that I've worked so I can't complain too much.

Today, I get to volunteer and hang out with my friend, Monica, who's in town. She actually just called. Hurray for visitors!

I'll try and keep you guys caught up on what's going on but things are starting to get busier here so be patient with me.

Side Note: Shout out to dad for a belated Father's day. I love you Dad!

Aspen-Breckenridge: a journey

After a loud show and a lovely evening in Aspen we woke up to a continental breakfast and then a beautiful, if slightly perilous, drive to Breckenridge.

Continental breakfast in Aspen

Mountains on the drive to Breckenridge

Aspen trees made a tunnel to drive through

but I only got the end of it in picture

Shout out Katelyn for driving, and the family for hanging around in the middle of the day to let us into the lodge in Breckenridge.