Listing West

I have not been posting on the regular as of late. Sorry kids.

Things have been somewhat busy but even more than that somewhat uneventful.

Still, I was thinking the other day of all of the things I still want to do here on the east coast and some of the things I want to do in Oregon when I get back west.

Let's see. I'm really trying to go see my friend Andre's  show in Philly before I leave this side of the country and I'm also trying to hit up NYC if at all possible. I still have a few restaurants in Richmond to get my stomach into,  and I've only been to the beautiful Byrd Theater once since I've been here so I will try to get a date to a movie for sure. Maybe, I will be trying to go to Agecroft Hall as well. Dinosaur Land is on my list but it is way down there and I don't think it's going to happen in the next three weeks. But, really, who can say for sure.

I'm only here for three more short weeks (in Richmond, VA) that is. So, I am, for sure, trying to see all of my friends for a few more good times and am looking forward, in a really serious way, to the Monument Avenue 10k which is my favorite race ever. I'm super excited for my family to come visit with Mamaw and me. And am also eager to make the brief venture up north to see my mom for her birthday. I'd like to point out (for good daughter points) that I have not missed one of my mom's birthdays since moving across the country.

When I get back out west I have so many things to do in mind (besides finding a job). I want to redouble my volunteering efforts. I've got a month's pass of unlimited yoga that starts two days before I get back home to take advantage of. I'm trying to buy a jalopy and drive to the Oregon High Desert (ok the jalopy part isn't true but the desert part is). I'm going to go whale watching off of the Oregon coast with some friends and visit some hot springs too.

I am going to go see some shows. Namely those of Yours, And And And, Death Songs, and My Autumn's Done Come. I cannot wait to be back in town to see all of these guys in action. I really hope they have shows close to my return. Culture! Oh yeah, I'm also going to hit up some museums that I haven't hit up yet in Portland and check out the famous rose testing garden (double culture!!)

I can't wait to ride my bike, run, and do yoga on a regular basis. I'm excited to make vast quantities of food that I really, really like and eat Thai take out from down the street. I can't wait to see all of the people in Oregon that I love and have friend dinners. But, I will desperately miss my family and friends who are sticking to their guns here on the east coast. I will be sending mail. Don't you east coasters worry. You will hear from me. Hopefully  I will also making some sweet stuff in the near future. So, maybe you'll see some art posted.

All the best kiddos I've got to get the ball rolling on this stuff.

Online Shopping

I think, that since I bought my first winter purchase (a sheepskin on which to sleep) online, I have been growing increasingly more addicted to the special kind of gratification that comes with online shopping. 

Never having to step foot in a store is a certain benefit for starters. Not having to travel at all to get a new product is another. 

But honestly, probably the best thing is getting something sweet in the mail (that you may or may not have forgotten about ordering). Sometimes, just getting something new that is really cool is enough to perk a person up. So, in order to curb my online spending habit, I've decided to make some of the things that I want from online (or my own versions of those things). Now, if only I could send them to myself.

Lately, I've been looking at a whole bunch of different U.S. state prints. They've ranged from road map print in the shape of a state to highly stylized geometric state approximation. Some have little symbols for different terrain. Some, list all of the cities of note in the state. They are (excuse me, I'm already sorry) all over the map in style. 

What I like the most about them is the idea of getting all of the states that I've lived in collected and having them as decorations. Here is what I have for myself.  

 Virginia

Delaware  

I'm obviously unfinished since I haven't even started Oregon yet.

Post Chemo

My grandma is almost three weeks away from her most recent chemotherapy treatment. It's ironic that they call that stuff therapy because it sure ain't therapeutic.

With every day that we get further from the treatment Mamaw grows a little bit stronger and I grow a little bit more resentful. Why am I resentful? If you could see the useless, debilitating, misery that my 81 year old grandmother suffered through at the hands of chemotherapy you'd be resentful too. Especially, if you could see how good she feels now, away from the drugs that poison not just cancerous cells but so many other useful body parts.

I honestly wonder what kind of person would sentence an elderly patient to this kind of life even when there is very little hope of success. I am currently, not too fond of doctors. I don't know if you picked up on that in my nurse based Doctor, Doctor post. I know, that it is good for a doctor to encourage hope. But honestly, at what cost is this acceptable? Sometimes, isn't it better to encourage reason and then coping?

It is difficult for me to not be hard on the doctor but I know it isn't fair. I know that, ultimately, the problems that we face as a family now are not his fault. I know that seeing someone you love suffer and trying to accept that that person will soon not be in you life aren't really issues a doctor can tackle. But they're not really issues that I can tackle either.

Mamaw is a faithful and caring woman who has seen most of her siblings die before her, been witness to a myriad of technical advances throughout her life, raised five boys and seen the larger part of 20 grandchildren grown into adulthood. She is a determined, goal oriented, and a, sometimes, very particular woman. She delights in the milestones of her grandchildren and lights up with joy at the thought of weddings. You should see her look at pictures of my sister and her boyfriend. It is hard for me to think of a time I've seen more joy on any face.

I don't know how to handle the future at any time and now it seems especially daunting. I know nothing about this part of life and I find myself wishing that I didn't have to learn.

Chicken

I want a little a little silkie chicken. Look how cute they are here. So. cute.

Flowers (again I know)

Don't worry, I'm not going to inundate you with flower pictures as is my usual desire.

I just realized that about 80% of the photos I take are of flowers (cell phone and camera both).. Is that normal? Is that me embracing my inner girly-girl without even knowing it?

I mean, in all fairness, everyone loves flowers-not just girly-girls. I find the idea that women appreciate flowers more than men hard to get behind. Because seriously, go outside and look at a flower and tell me that one gender likes them more than the other. It just doesn't make sense. 

Alongside the coming of fragrant blossoms, I am also appreciative of the arrival of my brother Jon-Mike. It is obviously a great joy for Mamaw to have him visiting and I am pretty happy myself having him around. I look forward to a time when I can see more of my family too.

Flower Power

Mamaw's yard is full of these beautiful flowers. They are so plentiful that even picking three vases full and then a tiny vase did not even make a dent in her yard display. Here they are so you can enjoy them too.

Doctor, Doctor.

Let me tell you now, this post has nothing to do with doctors.

Tuesday of last week Mamaw had chemotherapy. Nurses took her blood work, gave her shots to boost her white and red blood cell count, fortified her with Magnesium, and hooked up the chemo to drip deep into her veins (with the intention of killing off all of those fast growing cancer cells-but with some adverse effects of killing all of her fast growing cells).

Thursday of that week we went in to get an infusion for her- Just fluids. Nurses tested her to see if she needed anything besides fluids, they made her comfortable with pillows and blankets and generally kept us informed on what was going on.

Monday of this week, we went in for an impromptu infusion (the weekend had been hard and bodily resources were low). The nurses hooked Mamaw up for Magnesium and fluids. There were no doctors in sight.

Today, Tuesday, We went for our scheduled infusion. The nurses communicated with other nurses, they gave my grandma fluids and they did us the courtesy of scheduling yet another infusion that we know we will need.

It turns out, in the world of cancer, doctors have a uselessly busy schedule and never actually do anything for their patients. I am thankful for the care of nurses. I am thankful for their knowledge on the subjects, their ability to share that knowledge and most of all their ability to do. I appreciate everyone who considers becoming a nurse, as well as all of the nurses out there.

Shout out to my older brother who is going to be a nurse. Also, a loud shout out to my aunt, Melissa, who helped Mamaw and I through a rough couple of days and a shout out to my dad for being around and able bodied when we needed someone who can lift.

Hopefully most of you are seeing far less nurses than I am these days but to those of you in my nearby (AKA Virginia) family, I know you're seeing just about as many and I am glad we are in this together.