Getting back attchya from Chicago

Allright, here's to posting to you all from Chicago again.
Every time that I'm here, I'm pretty sure you get a post from me. You can thank Amtrak's ridiculously long layovers for that. Still I'm thankful to get off the train and find a comfortable place to relieve myself as well as to update you on my life as of late.

Here it is. Last week Delaware and a couple of walks through springtime

Jack in the Pulpit. bitter and peppery unless cooked I believe.

This past weekend New York, NY and the visiting of some very intense museums.

pretty sure I take this picture everytime I'm in the American Museum of Natural History. You can't deny that it's Tight. Giant squid fighting whale (Whatup?!).

Even though, everything in the Financial district of Chicago (which is at least where I assume I am) is closed on Sundays except for some random tea shop, the area is still convincingly city-like and for that impressive. 

I'd love to come to the real city (not just the tall business buildings part) some day with a real Chicago friend. Shout out Natalie who will someday lead me around the streets of Chicago. Also, shout outs to my Mom and Dad who hooked it up in NY from getting us a hotel to stay in with their mysterious hotel points and finding tickets to my first Broadway show, to helping me carry my huge load of stuff to the train station on Saturday. You guys are awesome. 

Trading Up

In the past week both of my parents, independent of one another, told me I looked like a bum. For real, the terms "bum" and "bummy" were used to describe the state of my apparel.

Since I am, in no way, a fan of shopping (except of the online variety for non clothing items), they have been hard pressed to get me looking more middle class some other way.

The compromise that we settled on was that while they were both out working and earning the money to buy their own new clothes, I  stay at home and look through my mom's overstuffed closets and find some things to replace the particularly unseemly contributors to my wardrobe.

I pulled this from an online dictionary so that you all could see the irony in this set up (and possibly the reason that I really am a bum).
bum ¹  (bm)

n.

1. A tramp; a vagrant.

2. A lazy or shiftless person, especially one who seeks to live solely by the support of others.

 Here are a few of the goods:

Burnt orange shirt longish sleeves 

Replaces grey shirt three quarter length sleeves with weird fasteners on them

 Black V-neck Tee with "paint" 

Replaces Grey V-neck that shows every drop of sweet my body releases

 Lace tank top

Replaces 50's diner waitress shirt with ink marks all over it.

 Burnt orange coat dress

Replaces burnt orange "potato bag" sweater dress

White fluffy skirt and Black tank

Replace too large grey tank and nothing

I'm happy with most of my selection and they're happy that I'm trading up to clothes that I can get a real job with. Oh, a real job. That's what I'm supposed to do with my life.

I'm looking forward to my return to Oregon, new stuff or not. Yoga (at multiple studios), Whale watching, Hot springs going, Desert visiting, and $2 beers, all await me. And now that going to Oregon no longer means going back to a place where I have no one I am pretty excited to see all of my friends and housemates (the two are not mutually exclusive).

Shout outs to Mom & Dad for always looking out for me. Shout out to Oregon, I'll see you soon. Shout out to Mamaw, I miss you already.

Last one

Today was the last family get together that I get for quite a while. I'm bummed. It was really fun to see most everyone one last time before heading back west.

I'm psyched to visit up north and to see NYC. I'm even pretty excited to head back  west and do some fun stuff with good people but I am freaking out a little bit about leaving my family and especially my grandmom.

However, it is what it is. And I will move forward. Where are you moving?

Excitement Galore!

This has been an very happening couple of days. 

We've been testing out (and failing) a new home care helper this week. That's someone who basically does what I do with my grandma - cooks, cleans, administers meds. We need someone pretty chill to hang out with Mamaw every day for a solid chunk of time. 

This weekend Mamaw and I started with a trip to the spa on Friday (I went grocery shopping she got a massage), continued with a visit from my Mom, Dad, and my little brother on Saturday, and got real wild with a big birthday celebration for her today (Sunday). 

Besides that, my older sister was visiting this week too. So, things were pretty crazy overall.

Coconut cake with 82 candles.  

 Me and my older sister 

 My cousin, Luke, with some sweet flowers

Mamaw and cousin Mika with a four leaf clover

Tomorrow, we try out a new homecare assistant and we rest. It's gonna be good. All the best.

Restless

I am mad uneasy right now about getting up and going. I can feel the need to move pulling at me but I am torn up by the changes in my life that are about to happen.

I don't know how to give up the lead role in the day to day activities of my Mamaw's life but I am so excited to have freedom for my own day to day activities. I really don't know how I'm going to get over seeing her every day and being such a central part of her existence.

I am really, really hyped about seeing my friends back west but I almost can't bear the idea of leaving my Richmond friends behind.

I love the sights and sounds of a Richmond spring but I am so, so, so, excited to see spring in Portland. To watch my tulips come up, and plant a small garden, is such an exciting prospect. My heart quickens at the idea.

Lately, I've been craving the kind of trust that only people who don't really really need you can put into you.  I want my grandmom to trust that I'll clean up a mess or cook something right or fold something and put it away correctly.

If it's really important that those things happen because you can't do it yourself, it's very hard to trust that someone else will do them to your specifications. It's even harder (if not impossible) to let go of those specifications and let someone do things their way.

And I understand that, because I love to be in control. One of the things that I'm looking forward to upon my return to Portland is having complete control of my diet again. I might go temporarily vegan as a response to all of the meat that I've eaten since I was here. I can't wait to make beans and rice and curry! I haven't taken full advantage of the goodness of east coast beers since I've been here (I just don't have the right kind of free time to get some good beers in me as a general rule). So, I'm even excited to be able to drink beer when I'd like to drink it.

I'm excited for yoga and running regularly. I'm bummed that I have to leave the runner friendly city (and my great runner friends) of Richmond.

I'm saddened to leave any prospects of love that I feel like Richmond offers me and Portland doesn't. Why is that? Why would one city not want me so badly when another does? It's all in my head. Probably.

Restless. Yep, that about sums it up.

Tag Team: back again.

I'm back in Richmond, VA and I am not mad about it. I love this place and the people who inhabit it. It was wonderful to get to see my mom on her birthday but, I really do think of VA as my home the most out of any place.

It's weird because I have three places that are not fully my home and no place that is. What a conundrum! I think it's one of the reasons I've got to stick it out where I've decided to invest my time. I've got to make one place my home. The idea that many of the people that I love will leave that place or will never be there at all (whichever place it is) scares me a lot though. A home is only so good as the people who live in it (be it a city or a structure).

Side note: If I've ever sent you a postcard: take a picture and send it to me. You probably don't have a postcard from me if you don't know my email address.

Best,
Rachel

Small Wonder (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I feel as though I must have used the title before. I know, it's not original, but I'm trying to go to bed. Here's a quick run through of  Delaware since I've been here (2:50 this afternoon)

 Napkins in the Thai restaurant we went to for lunch

 My mom with the spoils from the Thai restaurant.

Fortune I got from the Thai restaurant's "Chinese" fortune cookies

 Castor plant seed pod

Pretty much I got in via the Greyhound bus to Philly (first trip by greyhound and honestly not as bad as you'd expect from all of the negative feedback I've heard over the years), rode to pick up my older sister at the airport with my parents, met up with my older brother and sister in law to eat dinner, and ended up at home where I grew up, to chill with the immediate family. It's nice to see most of them. Shout out to Katelyn who can't be with us right now.