Last one

Today was the last family get together that I get for quite a while. I'm bummed. It was really fun to see most everyone one last time before heading back west.

I'm psyched to visit up north and to see NYC. I'm even pretty excited to head back  west and do some fun stuff with good people but I am freaking out a little bit about leaving my family and especially my grandmom.

However, it is what it is. And I will move forward. Where are you moving?

Excitement Galore!

This has been an very happening couple of days. 

We've been testing out (and failing) a new home care helper this week. That's someone who basically does what I do with my grandma - cooks, cleans, administers meds. We need someone pretty chill to hang out with Mamaw every day for a solid chunk of time. 

This weekend Mamaw and I started with a trip to the spa on Friday (I went grocery shopping she got a massage), continued with a visit from my Mom, Dad, and my little brother on Saturday, and got real wild with a big birthday celebration for her today (Sunday). 

Besides that, my older sister was visiting this week too. So, things were pretty crazy overall.

Coconut cake with 82 candles.  

 Me and my older sister 

 My cousin, Luke, with some sweet flowers

Mamaw and cousin Mika with a four leaf clover

Tomorrow, we try out a new homecare assistant and we rest. It's gonna be good. All the best.

Restless

I am mad uneasy right now about getting up and going. I can feel the need to move pulling at me but I am torn up by the changes in my life that are about to happen.

I don't know how to give up the lead role in the day to day activities of my Mamaw's life but I am so excited to have freedom for my own day to day activities. I really don't know how I'm going to get over seeing her every day and being such a central part of her existence.

I am really, really hyped about seeing my friends back west but I almost can't bear the idea of leaving my Richmond friends behind.

I love the sights and sounds of a Richmond spring but I am so, so, so, excited to see spring in Portland. To watch my tulips come up, and plant a small garden, is such an exciting prospect. My heart quickens at the idea.

Lately, I've been craving the kind of trust that only people who don't really really need you can put into you.  I want my grandmom to trust that I'll clean up a mess or cook something right or fold something and put it away correctly.

If it's really important that those things happen because you can't do it yourself, it's very hard to trust that someone else will do them to your specifications. It's even harder (if not impossible) to let go of those specifications and let someone do things their way.

And I understand that, because I love to be in control. One of the things that I'm looking forward to upon my return to Portland is having complete control of my diet again. I might go temporarily vegan as a response to all of the meat that I've eaten since I was here. I can't wait to make beans and rice and curry! I haven't taken full advantage of the goodness of east coast beers since I've been here (I just don't have the right kind of free time to get some good beers in me as a general rule). So, I'm even excited to be able to drink beer when I'd like to drink it.

I'm excited for yoga and running regularly. I'm bummed that I have to leave the runner friendly city (and my great runner friends) of Richmond.

I'm saddened to leave any prospects of love that I feel like Richmond offers me and Portland doesn't. Why is that? Why would one city not want me so badly when another does? It's all in my head. Probably.

Restless. Yep, that about sums it up.

Tag Team: back again.

I'm back in Richmond, VA and I am not mad about it. I love this place and the people who inhabit it. It was wonderful to get to see my mom on her birthday but, I really do think of VA as my home the most out of any place.

It's weird because I have three places that are not fully my home and no place that is. What a conundrum! I think it's one of the reasons I've got to stick it out where I've decided to invest my time. I've got to make one place my home. The idea that many of the people that I love will leave that place or will never be there at all (whichever place it is) scares me a lot though. A home is only so good as the people who live in it (be it a city or a structure).

Side note: If I've ever sent you a postcard: take a picture and send it to me. You probably don't have a postcard from me if you don't know my email address.

Best,
Rachel

Small Wonder (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I feel as though I must have used the title before. I know, it's not original, but I'm trying to go to bed. Here's a quick run through of  Delaware since I've been here (2:50 this afternoon)

 Napkins in the Thai restaurant we went to for lunch

 My mom with the spoils from the Thai restaurant.

Fortune I got from the Thai restaurant's "Chinese" fortune cookies

 Castor plant seed pod

Pretty much I got in via the Greyhound bus to Philly (first trip by greyhound and honestly not as bad as you'd expect from all of the negative feedback I've heard over the years), rode to pick up my older sister at the airport with my parents, met up with my older brother and sister in law to eat dinner, and ended up at home where I grew up, to chill with the immediate family. It's nice to see most of them. Shout out to Katelyn who can't be with us right now.

Listing West

I have not been posting on the regular as of late. Sorry kids.

Things have been somewhat busy but even more than that somewhat uneventful.

Still, I was thinking the other day of all of the things I still want to do here on the east coast and some of the things I want to do in Oregon when I get back west.

Let's see. I'm really trying to go see my friend Andre's  show in Philly before I leave this side of the country and I'm also trying to hit up NYC if at all possible. I still have a few restaurants in Richmond to get my stomach into,  and I've only been to the beautiful Byrd Theater once since I've been here so I will try to get a date to a movie for sure. Maybe, I will be trying to go to Agecroft Hall as well. Dinosaur Land is on my list but it is way down there and I don't think it's going to happen in the next three weeks. But, really, who can say for sure.

I'm only here for three more short weeks (in Richmond, VA) that is. So, I am, for sure, trying to see all of my friends for a few more good times and am looking forward, in a really serious way, to the Monument Avenue 10k which is my favorite race ever. I'm super excited for my family to come visit with Mamaw and me. And am also eager to make the brief venture up north to see my mom for her birthday. I'd like to point out (for good daughter points) that I have not missed one of my mom's birthdays since moving across the country.

When I get back out west I have so many things to do in mind (besides finding a job). I want to redouble my volunteering efforts. I've got a month's pass of unlimited yoga that starts two days before I get back home to take advantage of. I'm trying to buy a jalopy and drive to the Oregon High Desert (ok the jalopy part isn't true but the desert part is). I'm going to go whale watching off of the Oregon coast with some friends and visit some hot springs too.

I am going to go see some shows. Namely those of Yours, And And And, Death Songs, and My Autumn's Done Come. I cannot wait to be back in town to see all of these guys in action. I really hope they have shows close to my return. Culture! Oh yeah, I'm also going to hit up some museums that I haven't hit up yet in Portland and check out the famous rose testing garden (double culture!!)

I can't wait to ride my bike, run, and do yoga on a regular basis. I'm excited to make vast quantities of food that I really, really like and eat Thai take out from down the street. I can't wait to see all of the people in Oregon that I love and have friend dinners. But, I will desperately miss my family and friends who are sticking to their guns here on the east coast. I will be sending mail. Don't you east coasters worry. You will hear from me. Hopefully  I will also making some sweet stuff in the near future. So, maybe you'll see some art posted.

All the best kiddos I've got to get the ball rolling on this stuff.

Online Shopping

I think, that since I bought my first winter purchase (a sheepskin on which to sleep) online, I have been growing increasingly more addicted to the special kind of gratification that comes with online shopping. 

Never having to step foot in a store is a certain benefit for starters. Not having to travel at all to get a new product is another. 

But honestly, probably the best thing is getting something sweet in the mail (that you may or may not have forgotten about ordering). Sometimes, just getting something new that is really cool is enough to perk a person up. So, in order to curb my online spending habit, I've decided to make some of the things that I want from online (or my own versions of those things). Now, if only I could send them to myself.

Lately, I've been looking at a whole bunch of different U.S. state prints. They've ranged from road map print in the shape of a state to highly stylized geometric state approximation. Some have little symbols for different terrain. Some, list all of the cities of note in the state. They are (excuse me, I'm already sorry) all over the map in style. 

What I like the most about them is the idea of getting all of the states that I've lived in collected and having them as decorations. Here is what I have for myself.  

 Virginia

Delaware  

I'm obviously unfinished since I haven't even started Oregon yet.